“Concerning Widows: Become Like A Virgin Or Remarry!”(I Tim.5:3-16).
Some years back in PC Bonaberi we received from our German partners some financial assistance for the widows of the congregation. The money was not much. Each widow was to have just three thousand francs. I invited all the widows to a meeting. I told them that we are not going to consider the wealthy widows who were financially stable. The opposition I got from these wealthy widows was unimaginable!
Although I had to give in to their demands, I had to read the above cited passage to them.
By the way, if the story about the Association of Joyful Widows is true, does the Church have an obligation to assist them? The story is that qualification for membership is widowhood. Sadly enough many of the members intentionally make themselves widows. If such stories are true, such widows should rather be rebuked and the Church should be hard against such evil.
Back to the care of widows, Paul considers that in as much as it is the Church’s responsibility to care for widows, not every widow should be put on the list.
“Do not add any widow to the list of widows unless she is over sixty years of age. In addition she must have been married only once and have a reputation for good deeds: a woman who brought up her children well, received strangers in her home, performed humble duties for other Christian’s, helped people in trouble, and devoted herself to doing good.”
Younger widows too should not be included in the list, “because when their desires make them want to marry, they turn away from Christ and so become guilty of breaking their earlier promise to him…”
The preference is for younger widows to “get married, have children, and take care of their home, so as to give our enemies no chance for speaking evil of us.”
While it is important to show respect for widows “who really are alone,” a widow with children or grandchildren should be cared for by them. The first religious duty of these offspring is to their family. By doing this they repay their parents and grand parents, “because that is what pleases God.” Christian women who have widows in their families “must take care of them and not put the burden on the Church, so that it may take care of the widows who are all alone.”
Bottom line: The marriage bond binds couples until dead do they part. But once a widow, remain as a virgin and if you are still young and burning with desire, remarry, have children and take care of your home. Do not remain single, wasting your time going around from house to house, being gossips and busybodies, talking of things you should not.
A widow who is all alone places her hopes in God, continually praying and asking him for help.
Let us help the widows, but these should be the ones who merit such help.
Weekend prayer: Holy Spirit help us to fulfil our responsibllties towards responsible widow(er)s. Amen!

Do not say Paul is biased against widows. Widowers are already known to be the breadwinners and so they are considered differntly concerning assistance. But it also applies that young widowers should remarry – if they were not already in a polygamous union. Earlier on Paul had mentioned that “A Church leader…must have only one wife…” presupposing a congregation with men with more than one wife(3:2).

Have a blessed weekend! Peace be with you!
Rev Babila Fochang.